how to make sex last longer


Relax and encourage yourself
Anxiety and self-doubt are major mood killers, so try to be optimistic. Approaching sex with confidence, self respect, and a positive attitude can make all the difference for both you and your partner.
  • Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about your performance, think to yourself, “Sam, finishing fast is common and you shouldn’t get down on yourself. You can deal with this!”
  • Referring to yourself by name can be more effective when practicing positive self-talk.
If you feel like you’ve tried everything to have better sex without success, it may be time to discuss your problem with a sexual dysfunction specialist, Dr. Walsh says.
“A lot of the treatments we’ve already discussed—edging and biofeedback—are pretty challenging techniques that a specialist can help you use effectively.”
He recommends asking your doctor for a referral to a urologist, who can either treat you himself or refer you to the right person for your problem.
“He or she will help you approach this practically and pragmatically,” Dr. Walsh says, adding, “It’s not about getting in touch with your inner self. It’s about learning the physical or mental mechanisms that can help you avoid premature ejaculation.”

The Squeeze

If you can feel your orgasm coming on, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra—the tube running along the underside of the penis, advises Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of She Comes First.
Have him masturbate beforehand.
 Take advantage of men’s refractory period.
Try something new and out of the ordinary in bed.
 Try edging. 
 Squeeze the base of his penis. 
 Have him do kegels, yoga, and pilates.
 Try perpendicular sex positions
 Medicate.
 Grab thicker condoms. 
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