He's A Good Father, But A Bad Husband ! (complains)
My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years, and we have very young children. My love for my husband has greatly decreased since we got married, because of his behaviour. He has a very bad temper, which he has no control over. When something makes him angry, he hits me.
It cannot be called beating, and he never hits me on the face, but he hits me hard enough to leave a mark.
This has happened many times in our marriage, but it is not every day. We are aware of the three steps that Allah has told the husband to follow in such situations but, as I said, my husband has no control over his anger. This is what is causing the problem.
I have borne my husband’s anger with patience up to this time, which I do sometimes out of love, but also out of fear.
Because of this prolonged situation I have become afraid of him.
I feel resentment towards my husband which is causing more problems because my husband does not like the way I talk to him, because I have lost patience and feel that I am being treated unfairly. He has hit me many times in front of the kids, and even when I have been holding them. The older child is starting to copy his father and act out his anger on me.
What can I do to stop his behaviour (please don’t say not to make him angry), apart from more patience? What can I do with this resentment that I feel towards him? I have tried to forgive him but my heart has been hurt too many times.
His behaviour and my bad feelings are tearing our marriage apart. Allah knows best if we should stay together or not. And if we stay together, what is the best way to stop this behaviour and this cycle of bad feelings?